In Spite of the Nail
by MintiNeko
Summary: Nonmassacre AU. drabbles. Some things change, some things stay the same. 04: Post Chuunin Exams. Sasuke thinks, Sakura sleeps, and on this night in this alternate universe, things go well.
1. the trouble with inbreeding

**Title:** the trouble with inbreeding  
**Characters: **Team 7, Itachi as a source of the problem  
**Summary: **Naruto needs better eyes. Then he wouldn't get into these situations.  
**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto.  
**Author's Note:** …no words. Well, actually, there are. This is the first in a string of loosely connected nonmassacre drabbles and oneshots, simply because it has the potential for a lot of crazy. And like…less than half the angst the manga is piling on Sasuke at the moment. Main pairing featured is SasuSaku, with other characters explored at random. Not much plot, really.

* * *

"That's our best soap you're slobbering all over."

Naruto looked up from the sink to glare at Sasuke, who was leaning in the doorway of the bathroom, smirking.

"After your brother _contaminated my mouth_, I need it!" he snapped, inwardly shuddering as the events of ten minutes came back with a vengeance.

"It's your own fault," said Sasuke, who was enjoying Naruto's anguish a little too much to be decent. "Any normal person would have noticed the six inch height difference."

"But—the hair! And the apron! And—mfaklgh." Naruto whimpered and resumed scrubbing his mouth out.

It was supposed to have been an innocent gesture. Naruto and Sakura had come by the Uchiha compound to collect Sasuke for a spar. While they were waiting for him, Naruto had seen someone he had thought to be Sasuke's mother in the kitchen, washing the dishes. Naruto had a great deal of affection for Mikoto, and had snuck up behind her, intending to surprise her with a bear hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Unfortunately, it had not been Uchiha Mikoto. It had been, in actuality, her eldest son. Who had happened to turn his head at the exact, most inopportune moment.

Yeah.

Hence washing his mouth out with soap, while Sasuke was a horrible friend and laughed at him.

"You know, this is what happens when cousins get married," said Naruto when he resurfaced, groping blindly for the towel on the shelf. "You all look freakishly the same."

"They were seventh cousins. They didn't even share a last name." Sasuke pointed out, slightly annoyed. Why did everyone (by which he meant mainly Naruto) always feel the need to bring that up as though a minor blood relation explained all his character flaws?

Naruto rinsed out his mouth and spat before answering. "Like that makes any difference."

"Well, seventh cousins don't have any greater blood relation than two random strangers on the street." commented Sakura, poking her head over Sasuke's shoulder and startling both of her teammates. "You all right, Naruto?"

"Do I look all right to you?" demanded Naruto, pretending to gag.

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Calm down. It's just a standard question."

"Yeah yeah. I'm fine, sort of." Naruto's scowl quickly morphed into a more normal-looking grin. "But thanks for asking, unlike Bastard over there." He gestured at Sasuke rudely.

Sasuke just shrugged, still smirking.

"Good." said Sakura, a smirk starting to form on her own face. "The next time you go downstairs, then, brace yourself. Mikoto-san is demanding you take responsibility for, ah, _compromising_ Itachi-san's virtue." She couldn't quite stop herself from snickering, despite her best efforts. Sasuke was torn between looking amused and disgusted.

Naruto just groaned. Then he tried to drown himself under the faucet.

* * *

Plotless, laaame…but I really love the nonmassacre universe.

It's very shiny. Don't lie. You like it too. Actually, if you have any scenarios you'd like to see in particular, by all means suggest them!

Reviews, please?


	2. bedhopping

**Title:** bed-hopping  
**Characters:** SasuSaku, Namikaze Minato  
**Summary: **Getting caught in bed with your girlfriend is embarrassing. Getting caught in your _best friend's_ bed, with your girlfriend, by _his_ parents, is priceless.

**A/N:**…This makes even less sense than the last one. Horrible, horrible crack.

* * *

Namikaze Minato closed the door to his son's room very gently, turned around, and leaned against it.

As the Yondaime, he was known for being calm and unshakeable.

Most of the time.

He had lapses occasionally.

Usually around Kushina. Or Naruto. Sometimes Naruto-and-his-impact-on-maintaining-intervillage-relations. The oiroke no jutsu, always.

But to the majority of the Konoha population, he was merely the benevolent, all-powerful, if slightly henpecked Hokage.

And at that very moment, he just blew his entire image in front of his son's teammates.

Not that it was really his fault.

Seeing as they had been _having sex in his son's room_.

Seriously, since when was that ever considered a good idea? Naruto was scarcely the cleanest ninja around; for all that he boasted he was the greatest.

But back to the matter at hand.

"I want both of you to get dressed right now," said Minato in his best Hokage voice. "Don't even think about running away. Just get dressed, and then I'm coming in. Got it?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama," said Sakura's voice, filtering through the wood of the door. She sounded horribly embarrassed.

"Hn," was Sasuke's only response. Typical.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura squealed, accompanied by a muffled thump and Sasuke's muttered 'ow'.

A part of Minato really wanted to just walk away and pretend he saw nothing. But another part, the more important part of his brain that had made him such an excellent leader refused to permit him such an easy way out of the situation. He had a _responsibility_, and he had to see it through, no matter how mortifying.

But he _really_ didn't want to do this.

A timid knock on the wood indicated that the two had finished dressing. With a deep mental sigh Minato turned the knob and reentered the room.

Both of the teenagers were sitting on the bed: Sasuke with his feet on the ground; hands clasped and braced against his knees; Sakura cross-legged and curled in on herself. Sakura was blushing furiously, while Sasuke mostly looked annoyed.

And cold.

Because, for some reason, the Uchiha prodigy wasn't wearing his shirt.

Minato heaved another sigh. "Sasuke, that is not fully dressed. Grab your shirt and put it on."

Wordlessly, Sasuke pointed to a suspicious-looking pile by the foot of Naruto's bed. The raised eyebrow and disdainful expression indicated that he would rather walk around half-naked than try to retrieve his shirt from that garbage heap.

Well, Minato couldn't really blame him.

Minato dragged over Naruto's desk chair in front of the bed and sat down on it, regarding the two kids in front of him with great confusion.

Well, technically they weren't really kids _per se_, what with Sakura having recently turned eighteen and Sasuke already on the ANBU, but still, he had seen them grow up. Which made what was coming so much more uncomfortable.

Well, he was the Hokage. Some corners just had to be cut.

"I'm going to skip as much of this stuff as possible. You both _I assume_ know about safe sex, what with Sakura-chan working at the hospital and Sasuke's parents, because I can't believe that they would actually let you enter puberty without such information. Or that Itachi would, for that matter."

Sasuke just 'hnned' and turned red; Sakura let out a shy giggle. But both of them seemed to lose some of their tension, and therefore Minato allowed himself to relax a little.

"And I'm not going to tell your parents, if either of you are worried about that. You're both practically adults, and your personal lives are your own. When a couple is young and amorous, it is understandable that they'll want privacy so they can, er, _do things_—"

Sasuke snorted. "Didn't you give this speech to Naruto already?"

Minato rubbed his temple and glared at Sasuke. "Well—yes. But Sakura—didn't you move to a new apartment?" Sakura nodded an affirmative, still not entirely making eye contact. "Then why the hell are you two here?" He gestured (_almost_ flailed; but not quite) around Naruto's room.

"It's being fumigated," said Sasuke. "She's staying with Ino. And Tsunade already kicked us out of the hospital twice."

"And also because I work there, and it's not professional, _Sasuke-kun_," hissed Sakura, flushing red.

"Hn." Sasuke just smirked at her, and she flushed even redder before slapping him lightly on the arm.

Minato took a deep breath, wondering if the pounding was coming from a construction project outside, or his own head.

"Still, of all the places in Konoha to have sex, which include the training grounds, restaurants, broom closets, public buildings and even the _cemeteries_ if you are so inclined—not that I'm saying you should have sex at any of those places," he added hastily, at the twin looks of speculation the teens wore. "We do have public indecency laws, and I'd rather not have to explain any of this to your father, Sasuke. But _my _house? _Why?_"

Sasuke shrugged. "It's convenient. None of you are ever really home during the day, and no one notices that we're visiting."

Well. That would have to change.

Minato rubbed his eyes, deciding that addressing the implication that the couple had snuck into his house more than once to be far too much to handle. "Well, then. The only reason I'm not going to tell anyone about this is that I would happily forget every detail myself. Let it never happen again."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," said Sakura, her blush receding somewhat. Sasuke simply inclined his head at Minato…which was more respect than the Uchiha generally gave anyone on a good day.

"Good. Now get out of here before Naruto—"

"Before Naruto what?"

Very, very slowly, eyes wide with horror, Minato's head swiveled around to where his son was standing in the doorway, black and blue from training. Bright blue eyes gazed upon the scene, puzzled.

"Dad, why are you in my room? And teme, _seriously_," he scowled. "Where's your shirt? No one wants to see your nasty pale chest!"

Sasuke smirked. Sakura gave a secretive sort of giggle, the blush coming back full force.

Minato just facepalmed.

* * *

Sorry to cut off there. Personally, I think Naruto will never be the wiser for the SasuSaku escapades. And Minato installs a new security alarm.

I really wasn't sure how to write Minato, even given his appearance in the manga, so sorry if he seems kind of weird.

Comments? Concerns? Tell all!


	3. projection

**Title: **projection  
**Characters: **Itachi, Sasuke, Sakura  
**Summary: **Sakura attempts to fall in love with Itachi, and sort of fails, while Sasuke becomes the stereotype of a brooding teenager and poor Itachi wonders why the teenage drama won't leave him be.  
**Notes: **...I'm honestly not the biggest fan of ItaSaku. But Sakura latching onto Itachi because of Sasuke is honestly too funny not to explore.

This one goes to **Plastic Roses**, who suggested Sakura-in-love with Itachi scenario.

Probably the first of a mini series of drabbles.

* * *

There was a two week period of time when Sakura was fourteen when, out of sheer annoyance with Sasuke's indifference to her feelings, declared that she was over him and promptly fell in love with his brother instead.

The abrupt transfer of affections left Itachi blinking and feeling vaguely out of touch with reality. He liked Sakura well enough, but the change from her inquiring about the finer points of his bloodline limit and what it meant to be an ANBU to her following him around, all giggly and girly and—

It wasn't pleasant, to say the least.

It had been cute when she was doing that to Sasuke and his foolish little brother had no idea how to respond. Now it was just _annoying_.

Speaking of Sasuke…

His brother, Itachi was sorry to note, now seemed to hate him with an intensity that rivaled Maito Gai's determination. He might have been too much of an Uchiha to _show_ much of these feelings around their parents, but the younger boy had no qualms about throwing all manners of weaponry at Itachi when he thought his brother wasn't looking. Itachi very much doubted that Sasuke expected to hit him; it was probably just a way to sort out his frustration over Sakura. However, the random fireballs, steel kunai, and challenges to spar were a bit…harder to ignore.

This last one was proving to be a bit of a problem. Sasuke was still young, and no match for Itachi in terms of skill. But sometime within the last two years the scrawny boy had managed to develop some muscle, whether from tussling with Naruto or something else entirely, Itachi wasn't sure. But even a good-natured spar with Sasuke these days was enough to leave him wincing for several days if his brother got a hit in. When Sasuke was making a good faith effort to kill him Itachi was rather worried for his health. Plus, the boy was sulking, and Itachi didn't really want to have to put up with that for an extended period of time.

Itachi had understood his brother's brooding after the fiasco that was the Forest of Death. Having been in a semi-homicidal rage at the time, he had considerable empathy.

Sasuke sulking over a girl driven away by his own actions? Less so.

Especially when Sakura wasn't actually in love with him.

It was _so obvious_ that she was trying not to be in love with Sasuke, and that she trying to project her feelings for Sasuke onto Itachi, instead.

He supposed he could see the reasoning behind it. He looked like Sasuke, was a bit more mature but still generally sharing several similarities in disposition and taste.

It just _wasn't working_. Sakura's smiles were a little too sweet, a bit too strained. She still looked too much at Sasuke to make good on her resolve to ignore him. She was trying too hard. The poor girl was a terrible liar, and it showed.

And Sasuke was so wrapped up in Sakura's attention towards Itachi that he _didn't even notice_.

Itachi sighed.

Really, he was nineteen. Wasn't he supposed to be too old for this sort of drama? It wasn't fair, being stuck in some hormonal teenage mess when he had been a legal adult for the past year.

Well, fair or not, it appeared that he would have to intervene.

"Aniki!" Itachi looked up to find a fireball speeding its way toward him.

Provided that Sasuke didn't _actually _kill him, first.

* * *

To be continued.

So, any comments?


	4. under the stars

**Title:** under the stars  
**Characters:** Sasuke-centric; SasuSaku  
**Summary:** Sasuke and Sakura, together. The first of many moments. Set post-Chuunin Exams.  
**AN: **One of the things I like about the whole nonmassacre universe (well, technically the Minato-lives-universe, seeing as if he hadn't died everything that ended up going down would have probably turned out better for all involved) is that what changes is really relative, and a lot of stuff still definitely could have happened.

And because I'm lame, this is a nonmassacre!version of the night Sasuke leaves. Here, instead, he's on a date with Sakura. :'D

* * *

Sakura's sleeping now.

You watch her out of the corner of your eye. She's looks happy even while asleep, the corners of her mouth curling up, one hand loosely gripping the blades besides her head. Her breaths are even and slow and you are positive that you wouldn't be able to wake her for another one thousand years. The two of you are lying atop a grassy hill a small distance from the main section of town. The stars are shining high above her head, the meteor shower over, the last streaks of light fading to nothing.

It's nice, just being the two of you. The last time it was just the two of you, it really wasn't, because Naruto was still there, just unconscious, and you were going blind with the pain from the curse seal planted on your shoulder. Sakura held your hand and tried to comfort you, but even when it helped, the pain and malice seeping into your blood lingered. Kakashi expelled most of it, but until then Sakura was all you had. Naruto, as much of a friend you grudgingly admit he is, had problems of his own to worry about.

Naruto's with his father's old teacher, the Sennin Jiraiya, up training in the mountains. The man may be a degenerate and a peeping tom, but he is powerful, and can teach Naruto well. At the very least, a powerful Naruto is less of a weakness for enemies like Sound to exploit.

Sakura shifts in her sleep, and presses up against your side, her head resting on your arm. You mentally excuse your lack of action as due to the cooler temperatures and awkwardly maneuver your arm so that she is resting her head on the crook of your arm, and not cutting off your circulation.

Until Orochimaru is no longer a threat, you are stuck in the village, at the insistence of the clan. You find the whole thing rather annoying—do they seriously think you're so weak that some snake bastard can drag you away?

But you don't protest too much. Because your mother is worried about you: she peeks into your room at night to check up on you like she hasn't since you were six, and your father isn't much better. You may have proved yourself to him the way you have always wanted to, but it came at a steep price. Itachi is the same. You had never feared him before. Now, sometimes, you do. He hates Orochimaru, probably even more than you do, and his quiet rage is something you never want to see again.

So, you're stuck here for now. It's not so bad. Kakashi has been teaching you, promising to help you perfect your Chidori and maybe learn to transfer your lightning into weapons.

Sakura's also training, or she will soon. Tsunade, another one of the Legendary Sannin, is here in Konoha, working the hospitals and reforming medical training.

And Sakura asked, and was accepted, to be her pupil.

You smile a little. Sakura has changed a lot in the last few months. You can actually talk to her now, and the two of you talk more frequently. It's probably the only reason she was able to ask you to watch the meteor shower with her. It is certainly the main reason you accepted. Sakura is an interesting person. And as much as you miss the idiot at times, you're secretly glad the two of you can be together without the inclusion of a third party.

Not exceptionally glad, of course. Just glad. In a general way.

The crescent moon gleams from behind a few wisps of cloud. You should probably be getting home. Your mother might be lenient enough to allow you out so late with Sakura, but you don't feel like worrying anyone more than necessary.

Besides, you need to walk Sakura home. Different and stronger, she may be. But still.

Gingerly, you use your free arm to shake her awake. It takes a few seconds for her to blink slowly awake. Once she is mostly awake, her eyes widen and she shoots upright. But she is a little too fast, and yelps, clutching her head, as blood rushes to her skull.

"Sorry, Sasuke-kun," she says, mortified. You are vaguely bemused by her behavior, then remember your past actions towards her, and have to fight hard not to wince. You mumble something about the cooler temperatures as you had planned, but it's half-formed and sounds kind of ridiculous.

But she accepts it with a smile.

"Thanks for coming with me, Sasuke-kun," she stands, and offers a hand. You take it, and stand, looking out over the lake. It really is a pretty sight.

"It was interesting," you say. "Besides, we are teammates. Just because the dobe is missing, doesn't mean we have to stop talking."

Internally, you cringe at the banality and absurdity of that statement.

But Sakura is still smiling, and somehow, you said something right.

"That's good. I'm…glad you think so," she ducks her head a little, peering through pink strands. Once, it would have seemed coquettish; now it's just a manifestation of her uncertainty. "It would be nice."

You nod. Expressing even remotely affectionate sentiments is not one of your stronger points.

"I'll walk you home," you say. Sakura blinks in surprise.

"Oh," she smiles fully. "Thank you, Sasuke-kun."

Side by side, you walk with her to her home.

* * *

It was supposed to be a drabble.

…

Didn't quite happen.

What did you think? I missed young SasuSaku a lot.


End file.
